Mental Blocks and Orgasms

I’ve been dealing with this my whole sexually mature life. I can’t fucking cum with a partner. Well, I can, but it’s usually just tiny orgasms once I finally go through the anguish of letting myself open up during that one fuck session. Each time I make the decision to work towards finally having a clit orgasm, I have to go through this long process of reminding myself to let go and to just feel what’s happening. It’s driving me bonkers that I can’t always have a clitoral orgasm. I’m the queen of G spot orgasms. They come easily and I can squirt a three foot stream, but I can’t seem to let myself go enough with my partner to have a body-shaking clitoral orgasm – one where it feels about as intense as it does when I’m masturbating solo with my Salsa. Even with co masturbation or mutual masturbation with my Salsa, I can’t bring myself to cum.

So now I’m on a quest. It’s my goal the next few months to stop forcing the tiny little clit orgasms during sex with my partner, and actually let myself cum, no matter how long it takes or no matter how many times we have to give up. I WILL get there eventually. And I plan to document my failures and successes, and share tips about this weird journey (if I even come up with any tips), since I’m sure there are many women who struggle with this and are tired of the same old sorry ass magazine tips. You know, the usual, “try spicing up your love life with a vibrator! Most women won’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.” *yawn* We know this. Most of us have tried vibrators. Most of us have tried many different toys and techniques with our partners but still aren’t getting off. Maybe if the media would focus less buy, buy, buy and more on sexual abuse/body image issues/mental blocks that are all preventing orgasm, more couples would have better sex lives. I know for sure my internal blocks are caused by sexual abuse, but I won’t go into that right now.

More later,


My List of Regrettable Sex Toys I’m Trying To Forget

After reading Epiphora’s list of “Terrible Sex Toys I Used to Lust After“, I figured I should pen my own list of wonky toys I purchased before I was enlightened to the importance of sex toy matierals. Trust me, there’s been many a questionable thing I wanted to shove up my vagina.

I was on a budget and thought that bigger meant better. I thought smaller dildos and vibrators wouldn’t be good enough and I didn’t know that warm-up was essential. If I had to choose just one, I’d choose the biggest, cuz then I’d have to be satisfied, right? Right…(wrong).

Ok, this thing. It’s not the exact model and make that I owned, but I bought it about 5 years ago and can’t find the product page anymore. The thing was HUGE! And since I was a newbie to fucking my own vagina, I didn’t know I wasn’t turned on enough to handle it and I used whatever cheap lube came as a free gift. *Sigh* Thank goodness I didn’t end up with some crazy vaginal irritation since it was made of rubber. [Don’t fuck rubber toys!] So after this horrible experience, I went on to buy…

This scary ass jelly dildo. I actually tried JELLY! I didn’t end up with any serious chemical burns or allergic reactions, thank jeebus, but it smelled horrid and stained my shelf after I gave up on trying to fuck it and set it aside as funny decoration for my room. After an extended stay on my shelf where it stood there for about 4 months, the base eventually melted and oozed chemicals a bit and ruined the finish of my shelf. Grrr. I tried using it maybe 3 times, each time with condoms and once without. No crazy reactions. Please, please, please don’t even think of using Jelly. It’s porous! It holds onto bacteria and bodily fluids and soap chemicals and errythang forever! It also can cause some serious vaginal irritation and chemical burns.

Ok, again, not the same one as pictured, but someone once bought me something very similar once upon a time. I should’ve dumped them the second I smelled the rancid jelly. With an insertable length no longer than 3″, they probably felt I’d stretch out my virtuous vajay if they actually purchased me something that was a little bigger and pleasing. *eyeroll* I mean, I don’t need something massive like the ones shown above, but this thing was laughable. I eventually threw the jelly sleeve away and only used the vibrator that came with it.