I’ve been dealing with this my whole sexually mature life. I can’t fucking cum with a partner. Well, I can, but it’s usually just tiny orgasms once I finally go through the anguish of letting myself open up during that one fuck session. Each time I make the decision to work towards finally having a clit orgasm, I have to go through this long process of reminding myself to let go and to just feel what’s happening. It’s driving me bonkers that I can’t always have a clitoral orgasm. I’m the queen of G spot orgasms. They come easily and I can squirt a three foot stream, but I can’t seem to let myself go enough with my partner to have a body-shaking clitoral orgasm – one where it feels about as intense as it does when I’m masturbating solo with my Salsa. Even with co masturbation or mutual masturbation with my Salsa, I can’t bring myself to cum.
So now I’m on a quest. It’s my goal the next few months to stop forcing the tiny little clit orgasms during sex with my partner, and actually let myself cum, no matter how long it takes or no matter how many times we have to give up. I WILL get there eventually. And I plan to document my failures and successes, and share tips about this weird journey (if I even come up with any tips), since I’m sure there are many women who struggle with this and are tired of the same old sorry ass magazine tips. You know, the usual, “try spicing up your love life with a vibrator! Most women won’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone.” *yawn* We know this. Most of us have tried vibrators. Most of us have tried many different toys and techniques with our partners but still aren’t getting off. Maybe if the media would focus less buy, buy, buy and more on sexual abuse/body image issues/mental blocks that are all preventing orgasm, more couples would have better sex lives. I know for sure my internal blocks are caused by sexual abuse, but I won’t go into that right now.