My List of Regrettable Sex Toys I’m Trying not To Remember

After reading the list of “Terrible Sex Toys I Used to Lust After” by Epiphora, I thought I was supposed to write my own list of wonky toys I bought before I was informed about the significance of sex toy matierals. Trust me, I wanted to shove my vagina up a lot of a questionable thing.

I was on a budget and believed it was better to have a larger one. I thought it wouldn’t be good enough for smaller dildos and vibrators and I didn’t understand it was vital to warm up. If I had to choose only one, I would have to choose the largest one, cuz then I would have to be happy, right? Right… (wrong).

Okay, that thing. It’s not the precise model I owned and create it, but I purchased it about 5 years ago and can no longer find the product page. It was a HUGE thing! And since I was a newbie to fuck my own vagina, I didn’t know that I wasn’t turned on enough to manage it and that I used anything that came as a free donation that was inexpensive. Sigh* Thanks to goodness, as it was made of rubber, I did not end up with some insane vaginal irritation. Don’t fuck the toys of rubber!So I went on to purchase after this terrible experience… this frightening ass jelly dildo. I attempted JELLY in fact! I didn’t end up with any severe chemical burns or allergic reactions, thank you jeebus, but it smelled horrid and stained my shelf after I gave up trying to fuck it and set it aside as a funny decoration for my room. The base ultimately melted and oozed chemicals a bit and ruined the finish of my shelf after an prolonged stay on my shelf where it stood there for about 4 months. Grrr. Maybe 3 times, with condoms and once without, I attempted to use it. There are no insane responses. Please don’t even believe about using Jelly, please. It’s forgiving! It retains for ever bacteria and body fluids and soap chemicals and errythang! It can also cause severe vaginal irritation and chemical burns.

Ok, again, not the same as pictured, but once in a while somebody purchased me something very comparable. The second time I smelled the rancid jelly, I was supposed to dump them. They likely felt like I would stretch out my virtuous vajay with an insertable length no longer than 3′′ if they actually bought me something that was a little larger and pleasing. I mean, I don’t need a huge thing like the ones shown above, but it was laughable. Finally, I threw away the jelly sleeve and used only the vibrator that went with it.