So, kegel exercises…apparently they help with urinary incontinence and with increasing the likelihood and intensity of orgasms. I naturally assumed that meant G-spot orgasms, but through some experimentation and reading, I’ve come to find it can also mean clitoral orgasms too.
Many sex therapists will note that those who struggle with having a clitoral orgasm with a partner should try pelvic rocking and PC muscle clenching during sex. Apparently a certain level of muscle tension in the vagina can enhance clitoral orgasms and make them easier. I never made this connection on my own with a partner because I assumed I had to do the same thing with them that I do alone to have orgasms. Which is nothing. I just press my vibe on my clit and away I go. No rocking, no muscle clenching, no nothing. As you can imagine, this led to a lot of sexual frustation when I just couldn’t have an orgasm, at no fault to my partners, past and present.
I also noticed that clitoral stimulation without any kind of PC muscle tension is a little too strong and overwhelming for me. When my partner is directly stimulating my clit with her fingers, I feel overwhelmed and it can sometimes even hurt. If I clench my PC muscles while I’m receiving clitoral stimulation, this helps me harness that overwhelming feeling and it eventually turns into pleasure. This is a great feat for me. I actually recently had my first clitoral orgasm at the hands of a partner. I’ve been sexually active for 10 years now, and just now I’m finally reaching orgasm from my clitoris with a partner in full control. That’s not to say I have any issues having G-spot orgasms. I’m actually a pro G spotter. But I’ve always wanted to have mind-numbing clit orgasms with my partner.
So, why am I sharing this? To anyone who has strong PC muscles (I can shoot a dildo across the room), don’t write off kegel exercises or exercising devices! I thought that kegel balls were only useful for G-spot orgasms and urinary incontinence. Even though my PC muscles are very strong, using kegel balls helped me figure out how to use my muscles properly during sex. It kind of reminded me where they are and what the heck I need to do with them.
I don’t have any recommendations for specific kegel balls and what to try as a beginner. I only tried one, the L’amour Pleasure System from Cal Exotics. I’m not happy with them personally, but they did help me figure out how to focus on the strength of my PC muscles. I’ll be reviewing them soon.
Any questions or concerns, please leave me a comment below or shoot me an email.