TMI Tuesday

 1. Have you ever investigated having an open relationship?- Have you tried to have an open relationship?

Yes, I once entertained the idea of having an open, polyamorous relationship. I support polyamory, and I really wanted to explore the lifestyle as I do agree with its philosophy, but it didn’t work out with my partner at the time and we soon changed to a “closed” relationship. I haven’t tried again since and I probably won’t do it again.

2. Do you have any sexual phobias?
– What have you done to manage or overcome them?

I had a discussion about this once a long time ago with a friend of mine who is very much a kinkster and more well-versed than I with sexual phobias and the like. I have a specific sexual phobia concerning nipple injury. I’ve even had nightmares of my nipples being cut off, and I can’t directly touch my own nipples. I don’t really care to overcome it now, but I did consider getting vertical nipple piercings to try and get over it. I obviously wussed out.

3. What is the best new sexual activity you have tried in 2013?

Strap-ons! I’m very vanilla I guess.

4. Have you ever called into a sex advice radio/television show or written to a sex advice columnist?
– Was it helpful?

Yes. I wrote to Laura, a columnist and the owner of The Tool Shed. And yes, she was very helpful. She published my question and also emailed me back with more info.

5. Would you use the services of a sex therapist? Why or why not?

Yes. While I’ve been sucessful in learning how to have clit orgasms with a partner, I still struggle with having them regularly and I think it has to do with past traumas. I would like to eventually work through them and hopefully my orgasms will come easier.

6. Should sex therapists be allowed to engage in actual sexual activities with clients? Why or why not?

Hmmm, maybe. This isn’t the first time I’ve considered this question. I think with people like me who have trouble achieving orgasms regularly due to a psych block, there could be benefit in having a sex therapist present during sexual activities with a partner, perhaps to maybe talk the patient through the act. I don’t know if I would benefit from sexual activities with a sex therapist, but I do think it should be legal if it’s beneficial to others. Any little bit of help counts.

 This week’s TMI Tuesday questionnaire was a lot of fun! Check out the page and join in.

Review: Spunk Lube

 

Image Credit: spunklube.com

Okay, okay. At first I was a little skeptical of trying a lube called “Spunk”. I’m a lesbian, afterall. I gave that shit up for lent many moons ago. I figured I’d be mortified by the consistency because it would remind me of male cum. But when Jeff hit me up with an offer to try their lubes, I figured I’d give it a shot. You can never have enough lube, and I’ve never had the pleasure of trying out a water and silicone hybrid, so why not?

I originally requested the Spunk Hybrid lube. It is a water and silicone based lube, making it a “hybrid”. I was gleeful when my package came and I saw they sent me all three! Yay! Now I get to try their entire line of lubes and compare them all.

Depending on your needs, Spunk lube has it covered. The Spunk Hybrid is safe to use with all of your toys (silicone or otherwise) and it truly lasts a long time. It’s also safe during oral sex, so no worry of having to wash it off when going from one routine to the next. Spunk Pink offers the same silicone toy compatibility without the glycerin, so if you have a glycerin sensitivity, it’ll work great for you. The Spunk Pure silicone is fantastic for anal, and works great with glass dildos. It comes with only 4 ingredients, and is free of glycerin and parabens.

Spunk Pure Silicone:
This is a silicone based lube, making it unsuitable to be used with silicone toys. My girlfriend and I don’t always use silicone toys that often so having a silicone lube on hand is awesome. It works great with glass toys and doesn’t dry out or leave an oily residue after use. This one doesn’t resemble cum at all. It’s a clear lube consisting of four silicone oils and that’s it.

Ingredients: Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Cylopentasiloxane, Cyclohexasiloxane.

Spunk Hybrid:
This is the main cum lube and it really does look more like cum compared to the rest. I received the 8 oz. bottle which has a pushdown nozzle kind of like a lotion bottle, making it easy to grab a handful when we’re in the midst of sex. It’s also orally safe and doesn’t have a funky taste.

My first impression; it really does look like cum. Not just male cum, but also my own. It’s a thick consistency and kind of reminds me of a gel lube, but not like Aloe Vera gel, more like a hair conditioner. It’s not sticky at all. I’ve been playing with a wad of it in my hand while I write this review. I took a dime sized amount in one hand and played with it for a bit to see how it would dry up. It eventually absorbed into my hand and didn’t leave behind any weird, sticky or oily residue. There’s no smell, but a very faint taste is present, but it’s not unpleasant.

Ingredients: Water, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Cyclohexasiloxane, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxymethylcellulose, Glycerin, Methylparaben.

Spunk Pink:
This is probably my favorite from the line. It’s pretty and pink, and more similar to Aloe Vera gel than the original Spunk Hybrid lube. It was the slowest to run down the piece of paper when I tested them out by squirting a bit on paper then tilting it for 20 seconds. It has a very faint mint scent to it, and tastes kind of like flouride gel from a dentist office (but not as strong or gross). The pink dries clear without leaving behind a pink dye.

I also played with this one for awhile by taking a bit in my hand and spreading it out, and letting it dry. No oily or sticky residue, and the smell and taste are completely gone after it dries.

Ingredients: Water, Cyclopentasiloxane, Cyclohexasiloxane, Dimethicone, Dimethiconol, Propylene Glycol, Hydroxymethylcellulose, Methylparaben, Red 40.

Overall Rating: 4.5/5
The only change I’d like to see is no parabens for the hybrid lubes. Other than that, I’m impressed. My Sliquid has been retired for the time being.

Thanks, SPUNK Lube! Check them out Twitter and say hey to Jeff. They’re very helpful and friendly.

*Spunk Lube, Spunk Lube Hybrid, and Spunk Lube Pink were provided to me for free in exchange for my honest review. This is in compliance with FTC standards.*

Review: Purr by Tantus

     Seriously, one of the most underrated dildos I’ve ever tried. I don’t understand why more people aren’t raving about this glorious hunk of silicone. I originally bought this as my very first Tantus dildo, mostly to be used solo, but possibly with a future partner if I ever suckered anyone into settling down with me. Now that I’ve gained more experience with it, I prefer it for solo play unless my partner is in the mood for very slow sex.

     Let’s just get to the boring technicalities of this toy. It’s silicone, which means it’s non-porous, phthalates free, latex free, it’s sanitizable, and it’s body safe. You can sanitize it by boiling it, putting it in the dishwasher (without dish washing detergent and only on the top rack), or you can wash it down with a 10% bleach and water solution. If you aren’t sharing it between partners or in different orifices, you can just wash it down with an antibacterial soap and water and call it a day. It’s important to properly sanitize toys between anal and vaginal use so bacteria isn’t spread. The same safety precautions should be made when using it between partners.     Storage can be kinda tricky. It’s made of a firm, tacky silicone that is an absolute lint magnet. I keep it in the original packaging without the sleeve. I’ve heard of others using plastic ziplock bags. By keeping it stored away properly, I don’t generally have to wash it down before use. I do look it over very closely to make sure it hasn’t picked up a ton of hair and lint in between uses.

     The Purr measures at 7″ long, with 6 1/2″ insertable length, and 4 3/4″ in circumference. There’s a very slight curve to the shaft which makes the ribbing really hit my G-spot. The flared base makes it anal safe, and great for harness play. It stands erect in a harness and doesn’t flop around much. The rounded head isn’t much larger than the rest of the shaft, but the shaft does get smaller just a bit as you work your way past the head. There’s a very slight popping sensation as you insert it past the head. It definitely makes me feel full.
     I love this dildo for solo play. More than my Echo, more than any glass dildo I have, and more than G-spot vibrators. For solo, I like using slow thrusts to really feel all of the ribs. It’s like the ribs demand that I have an orgasm and it just pulls it right out of me. Strapped to my partner, it isn’t the best. The sensations that the ribs provide are deadened by fast thrusting, and the stiff silicone makes accidental cervix bumping a major pain. I prefer my Echo for strap-on sex.
     One benefit to Tantus dildos is that some come with a vibrating bullet that you can swap out for a different brand. I don’t have much luck with these Tantus bullets. I’ve heard that they’re supposed to be multi-speed, but mine have only been single-speed. I do love that they are just about the same size as my We Vibe Salsa. The Salsa fits perfectly into the Purr. Just add a little lube and it’ll be easy to remove it once you’re finished. The vibrations travel nicely up and down the shaft of the Purr, and really make those ribs feel 10x better.Overall Rating: 5/5

While it doesn’t work great for me during strap-on sex due to my shallow cervix, it’s still a fabulous hunk of silicone and I adore it for solo sessions.

Review: Fetish Fantasy Elite Universal Beginner’s Harness by Pipedream

 

Image Credit: pipedreamproducts.com

That name certainly is a mouthful. Say that 5x fast. Just don’t blame me when you bite your tongue off. The Fetish Fantasy Elite Universal Beginners’ Harness by Pipedream is an inexpensive double strap harness with a stretchy o-ring that will fit a range of different dildo sizes. But it certainly won’t fit a range of different waist sizes like it advertises.

     This was our first strap-on harness. I was on the market for a double strap harness that either came with multiple o-rings or one very stretchy o-ring to fit a variety of dildos. I was drawn in by the price ($25-30 with most online retailers), and at first I thought I hit the jackpot, but now I kind of hate this strap-on.
      The harness pad is made of vinyl and neoprene, with the front being a shiny vinyl, and the back a cushy neoprene. While the pad is nice and cushy against the pelvis of the wearer, neoprene is porous and hard to clean. The shiny vinyl is easy to clean by shining it up with a damp cloth, but it is also porous and cannot be fully cleaned. The care directions say you should spot clean it with a damp cloth and to avoid completely submerging the strap-on in water. This kind of turns me off of using it. The neoprene back comes into direct contact with the wearer’s genitalia and naturally soaks up a lot of bodily fluids. If I can’t clean it in a way that I feel is actually getting it clean, than I don’t want to even bother. We go against the care directions and usually wash it in the sink with antibacterial soap. I lay it flat to let it dry completely before storage.
     The vinyl face hurts when it hits my clitoris or labia when my partner thrusts too deep. It’s a very tacky material, and it grabbed onto my clit and yanked the clit hood upward when we were in mid-thrust. No bueno. Before, I had no qualms with this strap-on because I didn’t have firsthand experience as the wearer, but the third time we used it my clit was assaulted by its face and now I’d rather just burn it in a fire. To hell with you! I’ll likely be throwing it in our bonfire and dancing around it naked once we get a Rodeoh harness. Ok, it’s not that serious. But the pain was seriously that bad.
     This strap-on is advertised as being able to fit up to a 44″ waist. I don’t know how this is even possible. The top waist strap hardly fits around my partner’s waist and she’s a 36″. I don’t know how many times we struggled to get the nylon straps back into the slip buckle when she was putting the harness on. There was only maybe an inch of slack left once we had it secured around her waist.
     The straps are also very uncomfortable for the wearer. She said she experienced a lot of chaffing during thrusts, and when we were struggling to get it back on her, the edges of the straps were a bit harsh against the sensitive skin on her thighs and waist. The buckles and straps do stay in place once we finally got them on correctly, but it’s such a hassle that I’m contemplating buying a leather harness and skipping nylon/buckle type harnesses…and I’m a vegetarian who would normally completely avoid leather.

     Overall Rating: 2/5

I should’ve researched the materials prior to purchasing this one. It’s a major turn-off that I can’t wash it thoroughly. I don’t know which “waist” they’re advertising it as fitting. Perhaps it’s the low-rising waist of jeans that could actually qualify as hip size, but it definitely won’t fit up to a 44″ natural waist or high waist size.

Update: I officially broke the harness. It seems that the O ring has completely stretched out and won’t accommodate our Tantus Echo anymore. If I’m clenching my PC muscles enough while she pulls out, the Echo comes sliding right out of the O ring. This happened three times already! Such a bummer.

If you wanna try your luck with the Fetish Fantasy Beginner Harness, it’s available on LoveHoney.com for $29.99. Be sure to pick up some extra O rings in case yours stretch out like mine did. This three pack will let you use different sized dildos as well.

Revew: Mia 2 by Lelo

     The Mia 2 by Lelo is a USB rechargeable clitoral vibrator that comes in rose, pink, and black. I chose the rose when I purchased mine. I’ve had a few months to get to know the Mia 2, and I’ve finally come to a better understanding of how I feel about this vibrator.
     A little about the Mia 2; it’s plastic, hypo-allergenic, latex free, phthalates free, and it’s body safe. Soap and water work best for me, but you can also use toys wipes or toy cleaner to clean it. It’s not safe for anal insertion since there’s no flared base to prevent it from becoming lost!
     The Mia 2 is supposedly 100% stronger than the original Mia from Lelo, but I haven’t tried the original so I can’t comment on that. It is, however, completely waterproof. I know some people had issues with the cap that protects the USB plug popping off with the original version, so they felt that it wasn’t safe to bring near water. The new cap has a twist-locking mechanism that prevents it from popping off randomly. I haven’t had any issues in that regard.Functions: You press the + button to turn it on. Holding the + down for a few seconds brings it to its strongest vibration setting. Once you get to the highest setting, you can hit the + button again to enter the vibration patterns, which are random escalations, waves, pulses, and the last setting is a completely random pattern. You can’t change the intensities of the patterns with this vibe like you can with the Mona 2.

One thing I learned is it has a quick shutoff option. If you hit both the + and – button at the same time, the toy quickly shuts off without a pause. It’s not intuitive so it won’t remember which setting you left off on when you turn it on again. It’s very easy to hit the + and – buttons simultaneously. I can easily do it with just my thumb during use.

There’s also a travel lock option when you press and hold + and -. The light on the front of the control panel with turn on as you press the buttons, and it’ll turn off once the travel lock is activated. When it’s locked the light will not turn on if you press either of the buttons. To unlock it you simply hold the + and – buttons again for a few seconds.

Strength: In terms of vibrations, it’s not that great. There’s a range of vibration strengths ranging from a 1 vroom to a low 3 out of 5 vrooms. The light weight of the Mia 2 makes the vibrations somewhat weak. If it were a heavier vibrator, they would feel more intense. I think it could be a good fit for those who don’t require a lot of oomph from clit vibes, but it’s somewhat boring for me.


As always, the Mia 2 comes in Lelo’s beautiful packaging, complete with a gorgeous black keepsake box that would work great for longterm storage, and a black satin pouch that holds the vibrator nicely. It also comes with a sample pack of Lelo’s water based lube, and a product authentication card that’s useful if you have to use their 1 year warranty. If anything goes wrong with the toy, just contact Lelo and they’ll be sure to help you.

     What I love about the Mia 2: it’s great for partner play. My partner is a little intimidated with my Salsa. She can’t get a good grip on the Salsa when she wants to use a vibe on me. With the Mia 2, there’s a neat triangular point on the cap which fits nicely between the forefinger and thumb. Neither of us have experienced any hand numbness with the Mia 2 either.     It’s also quick to charge. You can fit the USB plug into any USB charging port or computer, and it takes only an hour and a half to fully charge mine. It’s also quick to die too. When I use it, I need it on the highest setting to get any pleasure from it. Two reasonably long sessions and it’s dead.

Pros:

  • USB Rechargeable
  • Waterproof

Cons:

  • Weak
  • Overpriced and Overrated

Overall Rating: 2/5
Strength: 3/5
Volume: 1.5/5

It’s an overrated vibrator. Not any stronger than those old fashioned wand vibrators that require 1 AA battery. It’s definitely not worth the price. The only awesome factor to this vibe is the USB charger. I like being able to plug it into USB charging adapters and having it pass as a gig stick. No one suspects what it is. I love the other Lelo products I’ve tried, but this one was a bust for me.

Review: Sweet Lola by SSA Glass

 

     Sweet Lola is a beautiful G or P spot stimulator by SSA Glass. Available in royal blue and violet, she’s 8″ long with 5 1/2″ of insertable length and her head is 4″ in circumference. She features a very prominent head that’s angled for more direct stimulation, and a handle that makes solo and partner play easy.
     The large handle makes Sweet Lola safe for anal play, and she’s also great to use during sensual massage. You can use any lube with this glass dildo, and she’s boilable, bleachable, and dishwasher safe so long as you put her on the top rack and use no dishwashing detergent. Toy wipes or antibacterial soap and water work great as well.
     She comes with a red velvet pouch that’s great for storage. It isn’t padded so it won’t protect against traumas from falls, but it’s great to keep it clean and scratch free in between uses.

     I couldn’t believe how well she got me off. I think Sweet Lola is a better fit for finding your G-spot than other glass dildos that are similar to the Bent Graduate. The head is big, and very generously curved so it’ll hone in on your G-spot. There’s no prominent point which is perfect for me since I can’t handle pokey heads on glass dildos.

I’m still experimenting and finding my way around my G-spot. G-spot orgasms are very easy for me when I’m playing with a partner, but when I’m flying solo it can be kind of tricky. What worked once or twice doesn’t always work every time. I’ve been using this often for the past 3 weeks and so far I can say it’s doing it’s job, and well! I’ve found that I have a shallow G-spot (contrary to what I previously thought), and when I did very short thrusts with Sweet Lola I felt my orgasm growing. When I slowly took her out, I was surprised to see that I was gushing. I couldn’t even control it! It was amazing.

I’ll continue to recommend Sweet Lola over toys like the Bent Graduate and Amethyst. I think the design puts others to shame.

Overall Rating: 5/5

Review: Pink Double G by SSA Glass

Before purchasing the Pink Double G, I had always wanted to try glass dildos. This was my very first glass piece and I saw that it was on sale, so I had to give it a try. I was a little worried. I kept hearing about texture and newbies not being a good mix. But I had an inkling that my G-spot would love texture even though I had no first hand experience with texture and a rigid, hard toy.

     The Pink Double G is a double ended glass dildo that isn’t intended for use by two partners at once, but instead acts as a dildo with two possibilities. On one end there’s a swirl of raised glass. On the other end are raised nubs. Both create different sensations. The swirl kind of gives me a very light popping sensation when I thrust it slowly. The nubbed end is still my favorite, because the nubs on mine are more raised and pronounced than the other.

     My Pink Double G measures at 7 1/2″ long, and both heads are 4 5/8″ in circumference, with the shaft shrinking to 3 3/4″ in circumference at its smallest point. It weighs about 10 oz. so it isn’t the heaviest glass dildo out there, but it also isn’t the smallest. The pointed heads aren’t terribly pokey, and they make insertion easier. The nubs on mine are more pronounced than the swirl at the opposite end. Keep in mind that glass dildos are handmade so each one will be just a little different.

The Pink Double G isn’t intended for anal use. There’s no flared base to prevent it from being lost in the anal cavity, but the curves of this dildo can work as a preventative measure if you were to try it out for anal use. I think it would be too large and curved to really get lost in your butt, but please use caution. If you have a good grip on this dildo there shouldn’t be a problem, but because of this I wouldn’t recommend this dildo to first time users who are looking to experiment with anal.

     If you haven’t heard of the health benefits of glass pieces, I’d just like to share those really quick. This isn’t fragile glass that can break easily, it’s a kind of Pyrex glass and is shatter resistant. It can still break upon impact though, so care should be made to prevent any traumas or scrapes to the dildo. Besides that, it’s hypo-allergenic, sanitizable, body safe, and safe to share with partners so long as you sanitize it in between. You can sanitize it by boiling it, popping it in the dishwasher (on the top rack, with no detergent and on the sanitizing cycle), or washing it down with a bleach/water solution. It’s also compatible with any kind of lube.
     This one is still one of my absolute favorites. I purchased it in March and have acquired many a glass dildo since then. I still turn to this once in awhile because it’s like my old faithful. I think it would be great as a first time glass piece to users who know they enjoy texture. If you don’t enjoy texture, I would suggest you get The Bent Graduate, or something like it since there are many variations of that design.
     It comes in a red velvet pouch with a draw string, wrapped in bubble wrap, and with no directions. The velvet pouch isn’t padded or very thick, so it won’t protect the dildo from impacts from falls. Don’t store glass dildos on top of each other or underneath heavier toys.     Worth noting is that SSA Glass is a company that’s based out of and manufactures in China.Overall Rating: 4/5
It’s a great glass dildo, but I would have liked the swirled texture to be more pronounced. It also has very minor flaws along the length of the swirls, but they don’t cause discomfort. No scrapes, scratches, or knicks. It’s still completely smooth and gorgeous.

Looking for something similar?

PinkCherry has the Icicles No. 5 on sale right now for $16.79! If you haven’t already, check out their lovely selection of glass dildos!

Keeping Kegels On Point

     So, kegel exercises…apparently they help with urinary incontinence and with increasing the likelihood and intensity of orgasms. I naturally assumed that meant G-spot orgasms, but through some experimentation and reading, I’ve come to find it can also mean clitoral orgasms too.
     Many sex therapists will note that those who struggle with having a clitoral orgasm with a partner should try pelvic rocking and PC muscle clenching during sex. Apparently a certain level of muscle tension in the vagina can enhance clitoral orgasms and make them easier. I never made this connection on my own with a partner because I assumed I had to do the same thing with them that I do alone to have orgasms. Which is nothing. I just press my vibe on my clit and away I go. No rocking, no muscle clenching, no nothing. As you can imagine, this led to a lot of sexual frustation when I just couldn’t have an orgasm, at no fault to my partners, past and present.
     I also noticed that clitoral stimulation without any kind of PC muscle tension is a little too strong and overwhelming for me. When my partner is directly stimulating my clit with her fingers, I feel overwhelmed and it can sometimes even hurt. If I clench my PC muscles while I’m receiving clitoral stimulation, this helps me harness that overwhelming feeling and it eventually turns into pleasure. This is a great feat for me. I actually recently had my first clitoral orgasm at the hands of a partner. I’ve been sexually active for 10 years now, and just now I’m finally reaching orgasm from my clitoris with a partner in full control. That’s not to say I have any issues having G-spot orgasms. I’m actually a pro G spotter. But I’ve always wanted to have mind-numbing clit orgasms with my partner.
     So, why am I sharing this? To anyone who has strong PC muscles (I can shoot a dildo across the room), don’t write off kegel exercises or exercising devices! I thought that kegel balls were only useful for G-spot orgasms and urinary incontinence. Even though my PC muscles are very strong, using kegel balls helped me figure out how to use my muscles properly during sex. It kind of reminded me where they are and what the heck I need to do with them.
     I don’t have any recommendations for specific kegel balls and what to try as a beginner. I only tried one, the L’amour Pleasure System from Cal Exotics. I’m not happy with them personally, but they did help me figure out how to focus on the strength of my PC muscles. I’ll be reviewing them soon.
     Any questions or concerns, please leave me a comment below or shoot me an email.
     xoxo